Cecily Updates

I've been rolling along with the unnamed Cecily Birche story...mostly. Sometimes it's a little hard to write in present tense and get the emotion I want without it sounding a little wierd. I don't know how to describe it other than too blunt, or too simplistic. For example,

Donovan is a little crestfallen, and I wonder if perhaps I should have not refused. Oh, this is all so vexing!

^Excerpt from what I just wrote a few minutes ago. The whole way Cecily states this, (and lots of other stuff,) in present tense, sounds just a little too straightfoward. Of course, authors want to be straightfoward and not make the reader puzzle out what they want to say. (Do they?) But Cecily is supposed to be seventeen, with complex emotions especially regarding Donovan and naturally loosing her family, although the grief isn't so complex, just very strong. Yet sometimes she sounds too...childlike, maybe?
If I were writing this in past tense, first person, I could word it like this:

Donovan was a little crestfallen, and I wondered if perhaps I should have not refused. Oh, this is all so vexing! I thought.

Or,

Donovan appeared to be slightly crestfallen, and I wondered if perhaps I should not have refused his invitation. It was all so vexing, how contradictory my feelings were.

Oh, this is all so vexing!

There, I've added one more bit to the original sentence.

Donovan is a little crestfallen, and I wonder if perhaps I should have not refused. Oh, this is all so vexing! How contradictory my feelings are!

Hmm.

                                                   Cecily? She looks a little too glamourous.